What is up with this?

Dear Mema,
Are you ready for this hurricane? Everyone in Milton is starting to go nuts! Sand bags everywhere! Grandma has already told me, yes, told me.. how I have to come stay with her because if I don't, I won't make it. I kindly refused, but said if she needs anything, I'll be there. Not to mention, did you feel the earthquake? Boss lady and I were in the middle of a rush and everything started moving! Crazy! Well, be safe and be ready! After all, it is getting closer to 2012. Ha!
Love, emh

Only in Milton

Dear Mema,
As "Riley" and I were walking back from dinner, we saw the most... out of all... most hilarious thing! This picture, taken by bodies (the gas station) contains the proof of an older lady that has toilet paper.... and lots of it... stuck in her pants! I don't know if she planned on saving some for later, or made an oops by leaving the whole roll in her pants. Finally, when she was told that she had a tail of cotton white dragging behind her, she quickly pulled it out and ran. Mema, I don't think I've ever laughed so hard. Hope this makes your day- as it did mine.
Love, emh

.... great.

Dear Mema,
As I was on my way to the beach last night, I kinda well.. got into an accident. Don't worry! I'm okay, and the license and insurance free driver is too.... awesome, right?  What happened was- when I went to turn into the turning lane, he slammed on his big metal truck breaks while going strait. There for, the passenger side of my beautiful red car is messed up. Thank goodness that I have a friend that does amazing jobs on body work! This does mean two weeks without a car and being stuck in the merry town of Milton. However, Grandma did claim that I can borrow her hot pink and blue bike. I just may find my way to the beach on that! Hope all is well. Love, love, love you!
Love, emh